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Sleep. (Or lack thereof)

Someone, for the love of Pete, tell me when kids stop thinking sleep is a punishment. Sleep is amazeballs but someone forgot to inform my kids and they seem to think it’s some sort of insane form of torture.

Interrupted sleep is the worst, too. I’d rather be deprived than to wake at random intervals through the night. The littlest Pie loves to sleep all night for a few days and then bam decides to wake 2-3 times at night just to babble to his Tranquil Turtle. And guess who can hear it all over the monitor that I can’t turn off because anxiety would then run rampant. Then I’m up all night because I’m imaging horrible things happening.

My daughter is the guiltiest of all of them. She does. not. want.to. sleep. She is convinced we are going to slap on big, poofy dresses that twirl and have a karaoke party when she’s asleep. Trying to get her to calm down and sleep is like trying to lasso the moon: IMPOSSIBLE.

I am sure there are other moms and dads thatch are dealing with these same issues and I’m all ears. And I swear if I hear “oh they’ll grow out of it” one more time I’m gonna have to crotch kick someone.

At this point my idea of a vacation or romantic getaway is me and my husband sleeping (literally sleeping) somewhere alone for two days. Warm blankets, comfy bed, no kids in the bed and no baby monitor that picks up something that looks like a critter and random coughs and movement.

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Now I’m off to bed. Maybe I’ll get lucky!